The Sacrosanct Mind

Jon Trott needs to link to my blog  from his blog right now!!! bluechristian.blogspot.com


It occured to me this morning lying in bed that of the things I value most in life, my mind is the greatest. Now if you asked me whether I considered myself a truly smart person, an intellectual or an artist, I would be embarrassed to reply "Yes." But I do spend most of my valuable time in mental exercise. I love reading five or six books at a time. With this activity comes the very real threat of information overload and very little control over what goes through my mind. An athlete these days spends a considerable amount of time suiting up and/or toning up so as to protect him/herself from injury. In the mental realm as a believer in Christ I have the Word of God to protect my mind. Now all of this sounds very basic, even fundamentalist. This idea was drilled into me from childhood. But this morning when the thought of "Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ" came to me, I realized that somehow I value any thought for my ability to think it, for my freedom to think it, and don't see a need to take  it captive. Captive sounds like such a militant dominating kind of thing. Thoughts are just thoughts right? I mean thoughts are harmless, they come and go. Why would I need to take them captive?

Here are the verses in question:

2 Cor. 10:2  (NASB)
2  I ask that when I am present I may not be bold with the confidence with which I propose to be courageous against some, who regard us as if we walked according to the flesh.
3  For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh,
4  for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.
5  We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,
6  and we are ready to punish all disobedience, whenever your obedience is complete.

The Dictionary of New Testament Theology Vol. 3 (p. 591) says Paul uses the word  for captive, aichmalotizo, in reference to the ongoing battle that is the Christian experience.

Reflecting on his Christian expereince, Paul writes: "For I delight in the law of God, in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin which dwells in my members" (Rom. 7:22f.;--doulos;--I Am, art. ego eimi, NT2 (c)). On the other hand, his concept of the new life as an exclusive union with the Lord allows him to use aichmalotizo of the service of Christ: "We lead every thought into captivity to make them subject to Christ" (2 Cor. 10:5; cf. 2:11; 3:14; 4:4).

In this way taking thoughts captive to Christ is pitted against having thoughts captive to sin. (Dylan) You Gotta Serve Somebody. Now the humbling reality is that either way, I am not the one in Authority. I remember reading Ralph Waldo Emerson in college and being stunned by the sheer audacity of his Self Reliance:

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. Absolve you to yourself, and you shall have the suffrage of the world. I remember an answer which when quite young I was prompted to make to a valued adviser who was wont to importune me with the dear old doctrines of the church. On my saying, "What have I to do with the sacredness of traditions, if I live wholly from within?" my friend suggested,---"But these impulses may be from below, not from above." I replied, "They do not seem to me to be such; but if I am the Devil's child, I will live then from the Devil." No law can be sacred to me but that of my nature. Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution; the only wrong what is against it. A man is to carry himself in the presence of all opposition as if every thing were titular and ephemeral but he.  [Concise Anthology of American Literature, Third Edition, pg. 591.]

Now all of this smacks to me of the same pretensious blow-hardedness (if that's a word) that I encountered the other day from a loud fan behind me at the White Sox game. It was the bottom of the ninth and the Sox were down a few runs. The manager kept in the starting pitcher. This fan went nuts! It was like his pants were on fire. All the insults he and his friend had shouted at the opposing pitcher were now aimed at the Sox manager. A few fans got up to leave and he started insulting them! "What kind of Sox fans are you!" In this fans mind the whole world around him was his to command because of the Season tickets he purchased before the season. Maybe he lives that way. (No wonder he was unmarried!)
At any rate, whether its Emerson's assumed license to command because of learning (or  in existence), or this fan's right to command because of his loud voice and tradition of being a fan, neither men have any real control, either of themselves or the world around them. And they witness to me of my own pretentious love affair with my mind. I've heard it called mental masturbation. Not a pretty picture.

A Closing Prayer

Dear God for today (because that's all I have) I surrender control of my will to yours. "I offer myself to you--to build with me and to do with me as You will. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Your will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Your Power, Your Love, and Your Way of life. May I do Your will always!"(The Third Step Prayer, Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 63)

Memoir and Remembering

When I began my study on Memoir I found a philosophy book on
autobiography and remembrance. It raised the question of authority in
remembrance, and its my largest hurdle in writing memoir. Its a question
of personhood really. Who am I to remember aloud--to recount deeds done
to me that shaped me? The question becomes particularly hurtful when it
involves parents, spouse, siblings. . . . or my own hurtful dealings
with others. Perhaps this is why so many personal experiences must be
fictionalized. True remembrance is always only through the lens of
perception. Perception is open to doubt. Doubt brings fear and pushes
the attempt at memory to arms length. Not that doubt and fear can't
dissipate. But anything written becomes posterity---when read.

Well I went and saw Star Wars: Episode III with my dad the other day. Its hard to explain the experience. I grew up with Star Wars. My first favorite toys were Star Wars figurines, especially Luke Skywalker. Seeing Episode III was like the missing piece of the whole puzzle. The piece that makes the whole thing fit, you know. So its like a crack in the universe where everything's finally been revealed. My dad has only watched the movies passively. He remembers bits and pieces here and there but he didn't understand a lot of what was going on. I kept analyzing the scenes theologio/philosophically and then noticed that it was keeping me from the story itself. But each scene in this last film has all this abiding saga significance. I really got into Bin Kenobi's statement to Anakin on the volcano, "Only Siths deal in Absolutes." At first I thought, well the Right's gonna pick up on that and say, "See they're preaching Relativism." But then when I thought deeper the truth of the statement made me rejoice. Its not a question of Absolutes, its the Dealing in Absolutes. Perhaps that's where the Right to me are like Siths. The Sith Lord promises Anakin the power to save loved ones from dying. Benny Hinn, Kenneth Copeland, Joel Osteen all make this faith promise that with their kind of faith healing, wealth, and day to day power are all a guaranteed reality. Our president promises that with the philosophy and guidance of his neo-cons' New American Century he will rid the world of evil and accomplish the impossible: Democracy and Peace in the Middle East. The Christian Right believe they finally have a truly Christian president, moreso than any other president in history. That is dealing in Absolutes my friend. Ok, now I'll admit I'm constructing a narrative out of sci-fi for present reality and it doesn't really fit. But I've got that right as much as anyone right?

I just saved a bunch of religious film criticism articles on the Star Wars series here are the links:
http://www.unomaha.edu/jrf/CREDITS/Star_Wars.htm
http://www.unomaha.edu/jrf/disctopc1.htm
http://christianity.about.com/od/themovies/a/starwars_p.htm
http://christianity.about.com/od/themovies/a/starwars_2.htm
http://www.leaderu.com/focus/starwarsspirituality.html

I'm sure there will be many more discussions and essays by the end of the summer. I expect that this movie will lock up the box office this year as it should. I was more moved by this one than any of the others. It packs more theologio/philosphical reflective scenes into it than any of the others that I can remember. My dad's remark was that he never saw one tree in this whole movie. Ecology itself was sucked out of the narrative as death came to the front. He was amazed at the cities without anything but buildings in them. I pointed out that they were noticeably absent for a reason and that other worlds such as Naboo, the Ewok moon, and the world of the Chewbaccas were all in harmony with nature rather than without a need for it. They were primitive civilizations who were by-in-large rebels of the powers that be. But their people are the story's heros, working to restore what is good and right in the galaxy.

Star Wars is a morality play to be sure, with Anakin Skywalker as the central character. The son, Luke, has his own struggle for identity, but his father's life is very much a part of his own struggle. When he learns this, the Force and his father become central to his own search. That struggle resonates with every man I'm sure to some degree. Though truthfully the sons who can confront and be confronted by their fathers are rarer indeed.

gone

gone

yeh i like it better now that you're gone
its better being alone
i can enjoy my music alone
i don't gotta worry what you think
i don't gotta talk to you
i don't gotta look at you
and i'm happier
knowing you're happier
not thinking of me
living your own life
your so free

this morning

It was after I had had my quiet times this morning. My second cup of coffee was down to a quarter of a cup, which usually stays out on the counter for the rest of the day. I'd read the morning devotional, followed the daily morning readings for the day from the book of common prayer, and was feeling pretty good really. I'd moved on to a book I'm reading slowly, Wilco: Learning How To Die. Chapter Four entitled "No Depression" on the band Uncle Tupelo, which if you read me you know is one of my favorite bands. My son (who is nine) comes in and Martha and I start talking about vacation. We're on a limited budget this year. $1000 and probably 1000 miles. No doubt $200 in gas one way. We'll do our traditional shoe-string trip that involves freeloading with family and staying ten days in a borrowed domain. This year brings us to Eureka Springs Arkansas. Halfway through the conversation my son starts going on as he does about not getting what he really wants on vacation.

He wants a Gameboy Advance and we say we'll put it on the list. We explain we can't guarantee it but we do want to get it for him. Soon the thought that he may not get it gets too overwhelming and he begins tearing up and then really bawling. And there I sit reading my book. I'm beginning to get overwhelmed with irritation and I just choose to ignore my feelings in that situation. And then it occurs to me, am I a distant dad just like my dad was when I was that age? I look back and realize I got into books, nonfiction, theology, sociology, philosophy, in a desperate attempt to get close to my dad. It worked sometimes. But mostly he was gone or when around I did his chores or just stayed out of his way. The door was locked all week so he could prepare his sermons. I remember knocking for nothing in particular and it really pissing him off. He'd say "What do you want?" And I'd say "Nevermind" and leave and then he'd grab me and say "No now you're going to talk to me." And then whatever I had to say seemed terribly insignificant to me.

Truth be told I could hardly care less about Pokemon and Gameboy advance. He's into it because all his friends are into it. Otherwise he wouldn't care really. He's got a PS2 that we play together. Pokemon to my knowledge makes no products for PS2. That adds to the irritation. Anyway, will my son look back and remember that I didn't care about Pokemon? That I showed no love that day and buried my nose in my book and punted to Martha? Well yeh that bothers me. Somehow I've got to hurdle my stupid little irritations and connect with him. After vacation I'll have finished the Wilco book and I'll have grown closer to this old drunken band that broke up and will be no closer to my son. God help me connect with my boy! And God return my lost youth to me and soften my crusty old heart. I wasn't allowed to have a childhood of significance. Games, toys, and baseball cards were of no significance to the Kingdom of God. But I think toys and recreation are important to God now because they're important to kids for development.

Why was I irritated by this little boy sitting next to me with tears streaming down his face? The thought of not getting that game really rocked his world. I want to give him this toy but more importantly I want him to know that he's important to me. We'll find ways of connecting in the next few weeks. I tell him all the time that he's my favorite little boy in the world.

The Downfall

I went out with a group of friends and saw "The Downfall" last night. It
was intense and troubling. At first I couldn't think of anything in the
American experience to compare with the German fixation for National
Socialism. We demonize Hitler and place him on an evil pedestal to the
effect that "well that'll never happen again." Read Jonathan Glover's
"Humanity: A Moral History of the Twentieth Century." The facts of later
history reveal that we've let it happen again and again and again. And
its not slated to stop any time soon. Hitler's ideology brought down an
entire nation. Dietrich Bonhoeffer chose to die trying to stop Hitler as
an expression of his faith and be numbered with the Jews at
Flossenburg. "The Downfall" was a German director's attempt to reflect
on his people's history. As an American viewer I'm trying to process our
parallel history as the "righteous victors who would never do anything
like that." Let's look again: genocide of hundreds of Native Americans
from Columbus on, an economy that flourished because of the slave trade,
coming out on top after two world wars in the world economy, "righteous
enough" to drop two A-bombs "for peace", and on and on. "Let's not call
the events in Rwanda genocide" (Madeleine Albright, Bill Clinton, Kofi
Annan) How is American Democracy and Globalization not its own ideology
that paves a superhighway over the poor masses in the name of consumer
progress? And where is Jesus now in all this Democracy? What right have
we to pray for the countries we conquer?

Bonhoeffer reviews/article up

cornerstonemag.com

I've been working for the last two weeks on this article on how JPUSAs use the writings of Dietrich Bonhoeffer and identify with the aims of his community. My biggest hurdle is to make all these academic texts accessible to lay folk. Taking lofty propositional truths and clarifying them is a dance to say the least. The big test will be when I'm ready to share it with others. Martha has read it and found it too lofty for her. I'm getting to the most academic part, on the need for Bonhoeffer's Bruderhaus and the need for JPUSA. Its far easier to comment on the need and impact of an extinct community. JPUSA is well known and controversial enough to make any comparisons I draw a strain. Craig Slane comments on the need for rituals in Bonhoeffer's community to counteract the Nazi nature propaganda and rituals. I wish I could draw a straight line between the American consumer cult and JPUSAs daily activities. There's no way to call them ritual though. And how our activities effect behavior is hard to tell as well.

This time let me start with my beautiful wife. And not just because she's in the room. I'm so thankful for her help in big and small ways. She is really so lovely. I don't know that I can really appreciate true beauty yet and I fault myself for that. At 31 I should know what true beauty is but I fear it miss it often. But I know she is true beauty and I look forward to getting to know her beauty more with each new day as God gives me the grace and as I get to know her better as we get older. I'm still learning to believe in a Higher Power who can rescue me from myself. And as I get to know him better I trust he will reveal her beauty to me in deeper ways. Thank you Jesus.

I just read my blog to my wife and somehow I left her out. Really I can't go more than a few hours without needing to hear her voice or show some affection. How could I have left her out?

Lately I've been working on reviewing half a dozen Bonhoeffer books for cornerstonemag.com due to be posted on or before the sixtieth anniversary of his death April 9th. And there's this new book out Toward An Evangelical Public Policy by Ronald Sider and Diane Knippers which has sixteen chapters that I'm trying to absorb for review/interview. Then there's an ad due that I have to design and some accounting due. Then there's three cute little kids needing attention and a PS2 MX game I bought "for my son." Sound like enough to keep me from blogging?

From Wikipedia:

Conservatism vs. fascism

While conservatives often identify with nationalist movements, there is a clear distinction between conservative nationalism and the ultra-nationalism of fascism. Conservatism, at its root, is an attitude of political and social quietism. The big plans of the Big Man, the noisy and levelling mass movements, the Führerprinzip, the personality cults, and the strong propensity toward totalitarianism that are central to fascism, are antithetical to the positions of classical conservatism. Conservatism stands for learning from the mistakes of the past, and primum non nocere is an essential conservative principle.

Nonetheless, historically, some conservative traditionalists have been drawn to Fascist movements, just like some liberal have been drawn to Communism and Stalinism during the 1970s. Some may have admired the moral and military renewal that Fascist leaders promised. Others may have merely thought fascism a more palatable alternative to socialism or communism. For example, in mid-1930s Britain, conservative media baron Lord Rothermere's Daily Mail enthusiastically backed Sir Oswald Mosley's British Union of Fascists, whilst a number of Tory peers and MPs supported closer ties with Nazi Germany. For a more contemporary example, in a 2003 article in National Review, John Laughland accuses contemporary neoconservative Michael Ledeen of "flirting with fascism", citing examples of the latter's praise for Italian fascist Gabriele D'Annunzio. [3]

Did you see the Dateline NBC special on Benny Hinn last night?
I did and I invited a friend over to watch it. Some time back The Wittenburg Door did a DVD that has all the Dateline profiles on Hinn from over the years. My friend and I watched that together so this was like a recent update. But here are my thoughts about last night's program:

1. Benny Hinn's problem is not unique. He loves and needs wealth. Doesn't he fit right in with mainstream America then?
2. This latest update is not shocking and will probably do little to hurt Hinn's finances. He already has a reputation, established over the years of shows done on him. But what it does (in my opinion) is justify viewers in their own spending habits. They might say, "Here's this 'man of God' using God to get wealth. If he can have it all why should I be deprived?" That's the gospel Hinn teaches and in our society that's not only acceptable, its laudable.
3. The show appealed to a sense of outrage among decent hardworking God-fearing church going Americans. It expects that their Values will speak to them and say, "This man must be stopped." Well, it assumes too much. Its one thing to report a missing person or a crime in progress. Its quite another to change the minds of a charasmatic gospelinc. subculture of millions who worship the ground someone walks on.
4. Benny Hinn is selling what evangelicals are buying. They need the assurance that wealth is part of godliness. That comfort and charm are what being a Christian is all about. And if they feel a bit guilty he'll give to the Tsunami victims like everyone else.
5. America needs Benny Hinn to be comfortable with itself. God help us all.

Latest Bt Selem report calls attention to abuse of both sides (Israelis and Palestinians). We should all take notice reflect and pray. http://www.btselem.org/english/

On play now: Neko Case "The Tigers Have Spoken" thanks Steph, Justin, and Keturah for the $. Also got breakfast the next morning at McD's. A Bacon, Egg and Cheese Pancake sandwich meal with OJ. Who says a twenty won't go anywhere?
Ripping at the same time is the Library of Congress Archive of Folk Culture CD of African American Spirituals, Work Songs, and Ballads. "Trouble So Hard" makes all my problems go away.

Sometimes I feel completely paralyzed. Like words can't express the complexity of the moment. Worlds collide and I gulp down grief like I haven't had a drink in days. I push away loved ones and all the good in my life fades out of focus for the single solitary cup that is sorrow.
When I awaken from this madness as from sleep I am shaken by what I have lost. My sanity. Rationality. How far did I go?

About Me

I grew up in an intentional community, but it was only after I grew up that it became intentional. After thirty years I'm still trying to understand my intention.

I love music, folk music. Rock, Blues, Country, its all in there as folk music. I write folk music, I play it. I play it to understand myself and other humans.

My wife planted a kiss on me this morning that was sweeter than any I remember in ten years. There are anthologies of tune in that one kiss. Volumes of titles. I realized I'm in love again. Three children and a combined extra weight of fifty pounds (mostly mine most likey) and I'm in love like never before.

I am an American. I live in a Culture of Death that my people export daily. I dare to live and love in that culture and be Called Out. I believe that a world where arms are not abused is possible. I believe in the possibility of a nonmalignant use of force. I've never seen it. I've heard of such things. Read of such things. I'm not a pacifist but I hold a picture in my heart of the same world by different means. All I have is faith. But I hear it moves mountains.

That's a little about me.

[ekklesiaproject.org
controlarms.org]

found the ut sticker on the floor at an EL station near the turn stile. Found the Avoid Monoculture as part of a larger punk band. So I clipped it off. Another conversation starter, stopper. 

whole top from bottom. 

best strings for me. under them is a band that's ok and i couldn't rip the sticker off without messing up the case. it'll get covered eventually.