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Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
2/02/2007
the sexual identity debate
For the most part I have kept quiet on the whole gay marriage and sexual identity debate raging in the Church. Much of the reason for my silence has been, as with many topics, the innane level of dialogue on the subject. Decidedly "pro-gay" spokespersons tend to leave no room for anyone claiming that they left the gay lifestyle. To leave the gay lifestyle, for some, is to be a liar. Well, I have too many friends who have left it to believe that. Anyway, Halden Doerge has posted Eight Theses on Sexual Identity and Christian Ethics. I think he's right on target, with an honest approach to speaking theologically for the Church on sexual identity.
1/09/2007
Why yes I yell at the TV
Sometimes I get angry at my Television. Well not actually at the television, but at what's on the television. As a heterosexual male with a fine working libido and a healthy attraction toward the opposite sex I consider it unfair that network television considers my libido a target for sexually charged advertising. Do any of you other men feel the same way? Do you ever feel like as a sex, we American men are considered vaccuous dolts led around by our short hairs by popular media? Can I get a witness?!!?
Let me go for the brass ring here and tell it like it is. I am a married Christian man. I consider that God has provided for my wife and I everything we would need for sexual fulfilment. That is why I yell at the TV. Someone somewhere is unhappy that I have my sexual needs met. They need me to be aroused to buy a product I don't need. But they're using the most spiritual and relational human desire as though it were toilet paper! Shouldn't that bother me?!! Most certainly so. Even when its not a blatant advertisment, maybe its just a young woman wearing an alluring fashion, the device is the same: become aroused, keep watching, then buy a product.
This is obviously not what God intends for us humans, male and female. Consumption is not really community. God made us humans male and female. That means (and Karl Barth goes into detail on this in his anthropology) that as a man I am meant to relate to all other women in a way that fosters true creative, mutual, life affirming reciprocity. That's why I yell at the TV. Far from empowering women, it makes them virtual sex objects.
A married couple can enjoy coitus any time they like. There is really no end to the matter in that regard. Everything about them is unveiled and they have the patient knowledge that it will continue to be. That is real relationship. Coitus is a part of the larger mutual intercourse. But this kind of fulfillment and satisfaction is a threat within our society. So be it.
I guess that makes me a love vigilante.
Let me go for the brass ring here and tell it like it is. I am a married Christian man. I consider that God has provided for my wife and I everything we would need for sexual fulfilment. That is why I yell at the TV. Someone somewhere is unhappy that I have my sexual needs met. They need me to be aroused to buy a product I don't need. But they're using the most spiritual and relational human desire as though it were toilet paper! Shouldn't that bother me?!! Most certainly so. Even when its not a blatant advertisment, maybe its just a young woman wearing an alluring fashion, the device is the same: become aroused, keep watching, then buy a product.
This is obviously not what God intends for us humans, male and female. Consumption is not really community. God made us humans male and female. That means (and Karl Barth goes into detail on this in his anthropology) that as a man I am meant to relate to all other women in a way that fosters true creative, mutual, life affirming reciprocity. That's why I yell at the TV. Far from empowering women, it makes them virtual sex objects.
A married couple can enjoy coitus any time they like. There is really no end to the matter in that regard. Everything about them is unveiled and they have the patient knowledge that it will continue to be. That is real relationship. Coitus is a part of the larger mutual intercourse. But this kind of fulfillment and satisfaction is a threat within our society. So be it.
I guess that makes me a love vigilante.
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4/11/2006
response to a CT editorial
Christianity Today has an editorial posted on their website titled “Before the Next Sex Scandal: How your church and your pastor may prevent the predictable.” After citing examples of recent sexual scandals, the article very passively discusses the issue of temptation with examples of resistance and then curtly the way churches should generally handle disciplinary measures to restore or when necessary isolate the offender. While it is admirable to speak frankly about the ongoing issue of clergy sexual immorality, to me there is something apparently missing from this little information piece, namely a personal interest in the subjects themselves!
While reading this it occurred to me that we might just as easily be discussing preventive measure for a hurricane or a small pox epidemic. Sexual scandal is framed in terms of “the act” and its repercussions. What is not discussed are the act-ors or the root issues that led to the scandalous action itself. I know that only so much can be said in a piece like this. I also know that it is intended for a general audience or readers who themselves have (it is assumed) very little to nothing to do with sexual immorality. The real root sin involved in every sexually immoral action is lust. When it becomes a full blown sexual scandal, the roots of lust have most often had time to spread and furrow deep into every area of a person’s life. In order to grow and deepen a life of dishonesty must be nursed and rarely admitted. Along with that lust most often bitterness and resentment help to blind, deepen and deaden the spirit.
All of these sins are very easily hidden within a pastorate or respectable position within the church. The scandal began long before it came to light. It began with the repeated decision to foster dishonesty and ambiguity. How can the church fend off scandal? By becoming a community that fosters truth tellers. Truth telling doesn’t begin after we have sinned. It begins at the point of our need. Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote his book Life Together as a model for being Christian in counteraction to German society’s way of isolating belief. It contains a way of confession and repentance that at first seemed impractical to its users. In time as they saw him practice it they realized it was exactly what they needed.
Instead of starting with the broken marriages and churches in the aftermath of sex scandal, let’s begin with the fragile sexuality these marriages and churches already contain. Invite real professional help for sexual and relational addictions. Don’t buy into the idea that Jesus instantly takes away any sexual brokenness at conversion or at the altar. He often uses the serious accountability and rigorous repentance of twelve step groups and counseling. Sexual sin reveals in the most intimate and vulnerable places of our psyches the utter frailty of our humanity. Christians can and are speaking honestly about sexual brokenness. We just need much more of it.
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4/10/2006
talk about sex
I spent some time today visiting the various xxxchurch.com web features. For those who don't know about it, 3x church is a ministry aimed at educating people to the dangers of pornography and helping porn stars get out of the industry. They visit churches and trade shows trying to bring the gospel to the industry. They have some insight into the fact that secretly many church members already know the industry and buy it's services. I've known about 3x church for some time but spent hours today trying to formulate my opinion on them. I downloaded a podcast episode. I downloaded tv evangelist James Robinson's interview with the two pastors and a former porn star.
My reason for reading and digesting all this material was a conversation I had with a friend today about their recent run-in with the American Bible Society over the cover art they wanted printed on 10,000 bibles. These were going to be handed out at Adult trade conventions. The cover simply read in 70's retro art "Jesus loves Porn Stars". ABS refused to publish, sent back their money and suggested various other titles. 3x church already sells t-shirts with this design and has booths with the design. It could have been a lot worse. They could have had Wally the Weiner, the giant blow-up penis on the cover. They use this gimmick with the sign in front "Do you have the balls enough to quit viewing porn?" The title cover is not so bad anymore huh? So anyway, as my friend and I were discussing this I laid out what I felt was wrong. Jesus doesn't love people on the basis of their profession right? So why give away a Bible on that basis? And then we discussed all the ministry aspects of how these folks are reaching people and how God alone knows the fruit.
So anyway, the conversation caused me to further education myself about 3x church and its tactics. Here are some observations: the whole thing is very market oriented. They use trendy advertisements to get to know people and strike up conversations. They use Christian and secular media to get their name out there. They rely on other ministries for the follow up work with individuals struggling with pornography. Generally their approach seems to suggest that while pornography is addictive, Jesus is the miracle cure. On a podcast they ask a former porn star whether all the sex scarred her toward future relationships. Her answer was no, and that the whole experience was only one step in a better life direction. Those seem like conflicting messages. Which is it? An addiction or just a hole anyone can get out of? I don't want to discount miracle cures but it seems to me that if porn is like heroine these guys should be looking to something like the 12 steps and 12 traditions of AA. Finally, it is interesting to me that two pastors who don't seem to have any real background using pornography could develop such a burden for it. If you look at other ministries like Exodus International or Love in Action, the directors are usually people who were directly influenced and effected by the disease. In this case these guys were just called.
All in all I'm thankful for the work 3x church is doing to talk about pornography where it is needed. Most of all I'm thankful that they're putting their money where their mouth is offering a way for those trapped in the industry to get out and find work and a better way of life. All that said, it would be very easy on every level to wonder how an industry built on deceit and conning could find insiders willing to stop right away and finally get completely honest. I will be praying for these guys and their work in the future. I'm glad they're shedding light on the topic of our frail human sexuality. Pornography thrives on silence and secrecy. It is readily available and easily hidden. Faith is only possible in lives capable of rigorous honesty.
My reason for reading and digesting all this material was a conversation I had with a friend today about their recent run-in with the American Bible Society over the cover art they wanted printed on 10,000 bibles. These were going to be handed out at Adult trade conventions. The cover simply read in 70's retro art "Jesus loves Porn Stars". ABS refused to publish, sent back their money and suggested various other titles. 3x church already sells t-shirts with this design and has booths with the design. It could have been a lot worse. They could have had Wally the Weiner, the giant blow-up penis on the cover. They use this gimmick with the sign in front "Do you have the balls enough to quit viewing porn?" The title cover is not so bad anymore huh? So anyway, as my friend and I were discussing this I laid out what I felt was wrong. Jesus doesn't love people on the basis of their profession right? So why give away a Bible on that basis? And then we discussed all the ministry aspects of how these folks are reaching people and how God alone knows the fruit.
So anyway, the conversation caused me to further education myself about 3x church and its tactics. Here are some observations: the whole thing is very market oriented. They use trendy advertisements to get to know people and strike up conversations. They use Christian and secular media to get their name out there. They rely on other ministries for the follow up work with individuals struggling with pornography. Generally their approach seems to suggest that while pornography is addictive, Jesus is the miracle cure. On a podcast they ask a former porn star whether all the sex scarred her toward future relationships. Her answer was no, and that the whole experience was only one step in a better life direction. Those seem like conflicting messages. Which is it? An addiction or just a hole anyone can get out of? I don't want to discount miracle cures but it seems to me that if porn is like heroine these guys should be looking to something like the 12 steps and 12 traditions of AA. Finally, it is interesting to me that two pastors who don't seem to have any real background using pornography could develop such a burden for it. If you look at other ministries like Exodus International or Love in Action, the directors are usually people who were directly influenced and effected by the disease. In this case these guys were just called.
All in all I'm thankful for the work 3x church is doing to talk about pornography where it is needed. Most of all I'm thankful that they're putting their money where their mouth is offering a way for those trapped in the industry to get out and find work and a better way of life. All that said, it would be very easy on every level to wonder how an industry built on deceit and conning could find insiders willing to stop right away and finally get completely honest. I will be praying for these guys and their work in the future. I'm glad they're shedding light on the topic of our frail human sexuality. Pornography thrives on silence and secrecy. It is readily available and easily hidden. Faith is only possible in lives capable of rigorous honesty.
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