A Desperate Kind of Faithful: November 2006

11/30/2006

disclaimer: this is still a family site

Ok, let me just add a disclaimer here that the Flogging Molly DVD should definitely be rated R for language. If you're a youth pastor please don't show it to your group of sixteen year olds upon my recommendation. I've been watching the whole thing on my laptop with headphones.

more on the Flogging Molly film

"When my father died, which was probably the most traumatic thing, we'd one window in the flat. He was sitting at the table there on a Sunday. The sun was shining through the window and it hit him on the face. And he was yellow. I thought it was really funny. I thought it was great. I said "Hey dad, you're yellow!" Alright? And that was the last time I ever seen him. My mother went outside. She went down the street and she called an ambulance. The ambulance came and picked him up and that was the last time I'd ever seen him. He died. Cancer. He was jaundiced at the time. The next time I'd seen him was in his coffin. So. . . I thought it was my fault that he died. If I hadn't have said anything he would still be alive, I thought. So for years I used to lie all the f***ing time. I was terrified to tell the truth. 'Cuz if I told the truth something bad would happen."

Dave King, songwriter, Flogging Molly. "Whiskey On A Sunday" A Jim Dziura Film.

This quote is an example of the kind of transparency, truth-telling, and lust for life that typifies this band film. Its truly rare that a touring band could love each other so much, be tight as family, truly respect each other and believe in their craft so much. That's what I get out of this film. Its truly inspiring. Dave King writes songs worth singing. His stories are alive and real. They're about real people and real human need. I can't believe how familial this film gets without getting into sentimental drivel. Here's a hard living, hard drinking rock band that clearly hasn't fallen prey to the excesses of that lifestyle.

Flogging Molly and the death of the Electric Car

Flogging Molly restored my faith in Irish music. I'd heard so much crappy traditional Irish music over a short period of time that I swore off altogether and went straight Bluegrass. Then my friend Jason passed me a Flogging Molly cd. I watched the first half of the Whisky on a Sunday DVD last night. Its one of the more fun "life on the road" biopics I've seen.

Then yesterday I got to see half of "Who Killed the Electric Car?" Why can't I seem to watch a movie straight through lately? Family. Oh well, that's the beauty of DVD players. You must see "Who Killed the Electric Car?" I found it on Youtube, then I went to the website, and now that its out on DVD my dad bought it. He immediately loaned it out so I can't see the whole thing until next week. Anyway, this documentary is the thrilling love story between EV1 owners (leasees) and the car owner, General Motors. Its the story of California politics and the loss of a clean air mandate. Its the story of a corporate product being so good for the public that the owner gets scared and rips it from their hands. Fascinating stuff.

But of course the larger story is about an American coal and oil based infrastructure fighting to keep its archaic claws on the hapless populace.
(How's that for a movie tag line?)

11/29/2006

Between posts

I continue to work through chapter nine of Bethge's Dietrich Bonhoeffer: A Biography. I have a few paragraphs written for a post but I keep editing and deleting and rewording. Sunday morning I got hit with the writing bug. Then Monday and Tuesday my sisters came to town with their families and we've been going over to my mom's to be with them each day. Yesterday morning I finally got out on a nice long walk down a beautiful stretch of rural road. Manuevering down a hilly blacktop takes a lot of concentration! With Lucinda William's "Car Wheels on a Gravel Road" on my ipod I briskly walked and ran for a straight hour. I got better exercise than my typical six mile walk along the bike path in Chicago. The change of scenery was a welcome treat. Beautiful skies, stars at night, hilly pastures, its all a luxury I wish I could take home. I'll be traveling with my dad and daughters today. I plan to bring along DB and a notebook. We'll see how far I get.

I just have to say that while DB has been one of my most richly rewarding reads its also the most work I've ever put into a single book. Maybe a better mind than mine wouldn't find it this hard, but I spend a lot of time working the angles. I read and reread a lot. This is a book I'll no doubt continue to struggle along with for years to come. The reading and plodding really stretch my mind into new places. Its like mental weight lifting. Trouble comes in finding other folks who can really share my interest in the material. I have met exactly one other person this year who has been entirely through this book. I met him by chance in a bookstore over the summer. If you've been all the way through DB, chime in here too.

11/24/2006

A lesson that's not necessarily rational

One of the toughest things about raising kids is imparting simple advice concerning control over the emotions. That sentence is enough to make you wonder what sort of parent I am. Let me break it down.

No one can make me rageful. No one can make me wallow in self-pity. No one can make me live in fear. These are all personal choices. But they don't feel that way. Helping my daughter understand that her brother and sister will do things that seem unfair but that she controls her own jealousy and self pity is something we revisit repeatedly. I can't expect her to one day get "rational" in that regard.

Now let me go from the particular to the general, theologically speaking. Sometimes those of us who read theology with peculiar interest tend to look for rational seams in everything. We don't understand why "those" people can't "get it." Biblically speaking, we humans haven't been getting it since the Fall in Genesis 3! The people of God's covenant weren't being rational in disobeying God. There were plenty of reasonable paths they could have chosen. But alas, the Scriptures are record of God's lovely and "irrational" patience for millenia.

I was reading some Lee Strobel The Case for Christ last night. What irks me about his books is not that he makes faith reasonable and rational. Its the assumption that a reasonable and rational faith is an easy faith to accept and live. Jesus is a historical figure, ergo, His claims are true, er go, the only reasonable choice is to become a Christian, er go all my life's yearnings will be fulfilled. Choosing to take up your cross and follow Jesus is a bodily action, not a philosophical decision. Now of course the mind is part of the body, but a lived faith is not something just anyone should claim to have.

I am on the way. I do not possess Christ. I am part of a lived faith that I embody along with other Christians.

11/22/2006

update from Nixa (or Strafford) Missouri

Life is much slower down here in Nixa Missouri. I'm learning to adjust. I still have internet access and can continue blogging but even my internet connection is slower. The real adjustment is with continuing our kids' education while we're gone. Between blogging I'm watching Alathea so that Martha can school the older kids. I long to continue work on my memoirs and spend time playing those Johnny Cash hymns I typed out earlier. They're simple songs and beautiful to play and sing aloud. Today we'll be over at my mom's house in Marshfield raking and bagging leaves. I'll post some pictures of this later. I took my mom grocery shopping and to the post office a few days ago. I think of simple things like this as spiritual exercise. I'm divesting myself of my hurried tendencies, trying to live each moment at a time and value each shared moment with my mom, dad, or kids for the worth they assign them. In that way I learn the true worth myself. I'm not as smart as I think. I have so much to learn about the unhurried simplicity of life.

11/21/2006

Help in posting comments

My sister told me today that she'd tried to post comments to a few of my posts and had a hard time. Here's the trick (I think). If you're a blogger user you need to log in first before filling in the comment box. This seems to be the case on Beta Blogger blogs. I forget this all the time too. Anyway, log in, then comment. If I don't post your comment within a few days, email me. It may have gotten lost or something.

11/17/2006

Three new Johnny Cash Videos

Here they are in the order I personally feel they should be viewed in. I think the second is the weakest personally, but you decide.

more on the BBC JC in San Quentin Documentary

Over on the Johnny Cash forum someone pointed out that the new documentary doesn't include the full concert. In fact the concert may have been filmed with only the documentary in mind. So when Johnny was pulling all his stunts with the cameraman during the concert they wouldn't have used that anyway.

Johnny Cash: Live at San Quentin

Wow! Well I know what I want for Christmas this year. The three disc set of Johnny Cash: Live at San Quentin. I can't believe they released the documentary filmed for the BBC. Rumor had it it was lost for all time! There is a clip available on Johnny's myspace page. Also on the page are three music videos from his new album. Good stuff.

11/16/2006

response on Wordpress

The illustrious, flawless, indefatigable Wordpress.com just gave me this response:

Server Maintenance

Your server is going through a few minutes of routine maintenance. Please don't touch your browser for a few minutes.

What do I do?

If you were posting a comment or making a post on your blog then do not press BACK on your browser. Wait 5 minutes and press the refresh icon on your browser. Your comment or post will be sent as normal.
If you are browsing a blog here just wait a few moments and hit refresh. The page you were expecting will appear.

Please do not hit the BACK button on your browser!

on blogging and tracking it

Here are my thoughts on blogging and then tracking it.

11/14/2006

Calling or Profession?

One of the central issues Larry Witham highlights in his book involves the Call to ministry (Who Shall Lead Them? Chapter One). He reports that many ministers feel guilty that they must spend so much time worrying about their work as a vocation (paying bills, overseeing building projects, business meetings, or planning for the future) when they first experienced the Call to spiritual ministry. One way in which this practically plays out for ministers is with finances. It is estimated that for a church to be able to afford a full time pastor it must have 200 full time (its is assumed---tithing) members. Think about that. The rubber suddenly meets the road. "Wait a second," the called minister might think, "I responded to a call at the altar to save the lost. I have a burden for souls. Nobody ever said anything about pressuring a congregation to pay their tithes."

I could cast a very skeptical eye over this whole affair. I could say "the whole architecture of this economic reality is flawed." American giving doesn't allow for the economic realities facing a small church these days. What if out of a person's paycheck every week they already feel urged by God to give to the Red Cross, the American Way, the American Cancer Society and the Salvation Army? What's left over for their church? I didn't really want to go there. But I can't help but think it's a factor. Giving follows the latest Cause on the News. What began as a Call to spiritual ministry becomes a dog fight between equal nonprofits for the bone of attentive charity. There's something wrong with that.

Well I don't want to spend any more time complaining. This is ministry life in America. If you feel a call to pastor, you're accepting the call not to pastor "A" congregation, but "this" congregation with all of its' messy foibles. Just like when you come to Jesus for the first time you are saying not just "I want You Lord" but I want "THIS" local congregation. I commit to loving and serving and being one of these people that you've directed me too. When you fall in love with a woman there are a lot of things you don't know about her at first. And frankly you don't care. But when you commit to marrying her you are saying "this is my new place in life and I accept it."

I remember a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach every month at Chapel in college. A visiting minister would come and give an invitation to intern at his ministry. Sometimes this was a simple description from a local minister about his church. I remember gazing over the crowd of my student peers noticing that they were very unimpressed. But other times there'd be a certain pastor with a lot of pizazz, a nice suit and perfect hair---a young looking guy. He really knew how to work the crowd. He'd developed a following and was a bit of a celebrity. That guy gave an invitation that anyone would have wanted to sit up and follow. In fact it made me question my calling. "Dear God why am I struggling here working with the homeless in the Bible Belt and this guy working in Chicago at Cabrini Green has to beat interns off with a stick?!?" It didn't seem fair. Maybe I was being Called to work somewhere that really "worked."

One day one of the faculty said something in Chapel that answered that question. He said "Ministry is a battlefield. If you're called to Ministry you're in that battle right now. You're not waiting for that big vocation later. You're called to be faithful right here, right now." That really stuck with me. I don't always feel like a success in what I do.
Maybe a spiritual Calling is actually a cold slap in the face. Far from being only an ecstatic spiritual experience it is an open door to a new terrain. The terrain of following Jesus, taking up a cross, enduring persecution, learning faithfulness, and receiving the true Joy of salvation.

11/13/2006

A little study of the Pastorate

For as far back as I can remember I have lived within the fulcrum of a ministerial calling. My father is an ordained minister. As early as age five I responded to the call of salvation and then, every day since, to the call to ministry. I have never been ordained in any official sense as a lay or pastoral minister, still I feel the Call to ministerial activity in my blood. As a teenager I had the privilege of sharing my faith every week on a music television program. I began quite opposed to the idea of preaching. I thought of it as much too harsh and heavy a term for my tastes. But boy did I preach fire and brimstone! Over the six years that I "shared" on television I grew into the preaching until it didn't seem quite so authoritarian or condescending to my own ears. Even so, every time I turned on that camera and opened a Bible an argument was brewing inside my head as to it's truthfulness and my authority to speak.

When I turned eighteen I had no idea what to do with my life. I'd been working for three years in full time ministry. I'd been through the self-styled ad-hoc omnivore school of discipleship. I literally stumbled into the idea of Bible college with barely any forethought. The summer before college I struggled with some serious workaholism while in ministry. I thought that it was impossible to burn out for Jesus and I used work to cope with a myriad of emotional and sexual issues that I didn't feel I could talk about. Accountable to everyone-- in truth I was accountable to no one. I bitterly ignored the warnings to slow down and the pleadings to open up and talk. Just before I left for college the young woman I believed I would one day marry departed for good. Maybe Bible college would be a welcome break for me. Well it wasn't, and three years later I suffered a nervous breakdown. I walked in and dropped every one of my classes. With a wry smile the Dean of Academics said, "Well when you come back to the Lord, look us up again." I still don't know what to make of that parting remark. I felt very much like I'd been unable to live up to the call of ministry and here was this jibe that maybe I wasn't right with God. Since this experience I have encountered many others who sensed a call to ministry but got lost along the way. Some of them are unsure of their faith at all.

I still feel haunted and empowered by this spiritual Call. I don't feel like its something I have to live up to anymore. Being a part of the church as a good husband, father, and friend and maybe occasionally penning something inspired is a weighty enough endeavor for now. Even so I feel an urgency to pray for and support those persons involved in an active Pastorate. Particularly in those smaller unnoticed congregations with unassuming names and places. I've long been curious about the changing nature of pastoral ministry in American society.
Somewhere in my memory I remembered someone talking about how the job of pastor was once within the top ten jobs every little boy wanted as a child. Were the 1950s a golden age for American pastors? Has twenty-first century America made the profession a mere caricature of itself? I had to find out. Here are the results of my little study.

**********************************************

Remember your leaders, those who spoke the word of God to you; consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith. (Heb. 13:7 NRSV)

But we appeal to you, brothers and sisters, to respect those who labor among you, and have charge of you in the Lord and admonish you; esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. (1 Thess. 5:12 NRSV)

“There is no dearer treasure, no nobler thing on earth or in this life than a good and faithful pastor and preacher.” Martin Luther

“Leaders have their inner wounds and limitations like everyone else; we are called to love them as brothers and sisters. Members who have difficulty with authority and with the limitations of their leaders need good accompaniment in order to avoid falling into the trap of closing up.”

---Jean Vanier, Community and Growth, Paulist, 1989, pg. 234-5.

Larry Witham asks, “Is American ministry in crisis or simply in the thick of very interesting times?" Most of the following statistics come from his book Who Shall Lead Them? The Future of Ministry in America. While other professions (like lawyers) have prospered over the last five decades, he writes that:

“the share of clergy has practically stayed flat, hovering just above one minister for every thousand Americans. . . . for some, the comparison between the pulpit and the bench is enough to declare that Christian ministry in America is in decline.” (pg. 1)

Is there a clergy crisis today compared with other eras? A close look reveals that its complicated. No profession looks rosy under too much scrutiny. The pulpit has a different standard for scrutiny:

"The expectations put on clergy in the United States are colored by a culture of evangelical immediacy and business-world pragmatism---ministers must bring results. For conservative believers this result is pietistic transformation---the proverbial revival. For more liberal or communitarian believers, clergy are expected to erect “the kingdom of God,” a world of better health, education, peace, and justice.”(Witham, pg. 3)

Here is a glance into the landscape of the profession (Witham, 10-11):

Between 1910 and 2000 there were just a fraction more than one “occupational” minister for every one thousand citizens.

The US 2000 census found 388,925 with a “clergy” occupation in the past five years.

Denominations reported 351,989 “serving parishes” so these two figures on “active” clergy

Matching a rough estimate of 300,000 to 350,000 congregations

But these are not counting all clergy. Many ordained are retired or not leading local churches.

Denominations total= 595,935

60% lead local churches

40% are teachers, missionaries, counselors, administrators, freelancers, or retired.

Denominational layout of clergy

Mainline Protestants: 22 %

Pentecostals 21%

Southern Baptists 15%

Roman Catholics 11%

Historic Black Churches 8%

Other (Adventist, Mormon, “orthodox” Protestant) 23%

Where are they?

The South 40%

The Midwest 25%

West/Northeast 17%

“Regional proportions have remained stable in recent decades with the Sunbelt showing the most growth and the industrial Northeast the most loss. Today, most clergy (52 percent) work in towns and rural settings. A quarter serve in cities with population of ten thousand or more, and the rest carry out ministry in the suburbs.”

How local culture affects ministry:

Nevada is 1 to 1,644 citizens

South Dakota and Arkansas are 1 to 460 citizens.

National average is 1 to 723. (appx. In Wisconsin, Louisiana, Michigan)

On megachurches, get this:
"For all their celebrity megachurches draw few than 2% of the nation's worshippers: about two million people. (Witham, 136)"

This is but a taste of a large body of data. Time and space don't allow me to cover the wealth of material found in Larry Witham's whole book. In eleven chapters he skillfully covers the crucial issues facing anyone entering or serving in a full time pastorate today. The diversity of today's ministry makes the reading exhaustive. Never before in history has the pastorate looked so unique and particular to each locale's needs and individuals. Which, when you stop and think about it, is a truly wonderful thing! The real locus of American social study of the pastorate, and the source of much of Witham's material is with Jackson W. Carroll who founded the Pulpit & Pew, "an interdenominational project aimed at strengthening the quality of pastoral leadership (clergy and lay) in churches, parishes, and other faith communities across America." The fruit of this research project can be found in his book God's Potters: Pastoral Leadership and the Shaping of Congregations (Eerdmans, 2006).

William Willimon gives six “chief ministerial metaphors of our time” that I think succinctly compose the different images we think of when we refer to pastor:

Media Mogul

Political Negotiator

Therapist

Manager

Resident Activist

Preacher

He gives about a page to each of these metaphors in his book Pastor: A Reader for Ordained Ministry (pg. 55). After exploring each of these he concludes:

“My impression is that contemporary ministry is groping for an appropriate metaphor for our pastoral work. Perhaps there has always been a certain tension in the guiding images for what we do. It is the nature of the Christian ministry to be multifaceted and multidimensional.”

BTW, William Willimon now has his own blog.

"Personal File" lyrics

I carefully typed in the lyrics to some songs I can't stop listening to on my wordpress blog--- here.

11/11/2006

A heads up on Avigdor Lieberman from a Christian Arab in Beit Sahour

A Disaster in the Middle East Is Imminent
Avigdor Lieberman becomes Israel's Deputy Prime Minister
by Samer Kokaly of Beit Sahour, Palestine

Avigdor Lieberman is a well-known personality who always asked about kicking Palestinians out of Palestine. He hates Arabs.

He is now in a position where he can do what he wants and lead the whole Middle East into a real disaster. So how can we expect peace between Israelis and Palestinians while he is in charge?

We send this message to all the people in the world who believe in peace and call on you to join our efforts to stop this man and his catastrophic plans.

The Middle East has suffered a lot for many years from wars and conflicts and I believe that it is the time to think about real peace in the Middle East. We must seek for a new leadership that can achieve peace.

So let's raise our voices against the disaster policies of Avigdor Lieberman, George Bush, Tony Blair, and many others who are only seeking for disaster in the world.

See also:
Haaretz editorial
Antiwar on Lieberman

11/05/2006

Ted Haggard responds to his church

Here is the letter of response from Ted Haggard to his church, which was read aloud this morning.

Top 20 List

Alas I too have succumb to the pressure. . . Here's my

Top 20 Books list originally presented by Ben Myers.

20. No Compromise by Melody Green and David Hazard
19. Blood Brothers by Elias Chacour and David Hazard
18. Cotton Patch Evidence by Dallas Lee
17. Hammers & Nails: the Life and Music of Mark Heard by Matthew Dickerson
16. After Fundamentalism by Bernard Ramm
15. With Open Hands by Henri Nouwen
14. Reaching Out by Henri Nouwen
13. The 1979 Book of Common Prayer
12. Humanization and the Politics of God: The Koinonia Ethics of Paul Lehmann by Nancy Duff
11. Bonhoeffer as Martyr by Craig Slane
10. We Wish to Inform You that tomorrow we will be killed with our families by Philip Gourevitch
9. The Epistle to the Romans by Karl Barth
8. The Revised English Bible
7. Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
6. The Presence of the Kingdom by Jacques Ellul
5. Community and Growth by Jean Vanier
4. On Love by Josef Pieper
3. Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
2. Dogmatics in Outline by Karl Barth
1. Prayer by Karl Barth

This is an eclectic sort of list. It reflects the things that have always been part of my life: music, politics, prayer, community, and faith.

11/03/2006

I've been interested in the social history of the pastorate recently. The news broke yesterday on Ted Haggard. BlueChristian has the good word on the whole sordid affair. I'm quite saddened by it.

11/30/2006

11/29/2006

11/24/2006

11/22/2006

11/21/2006

11/17/2006

11/16/2006

The illustrious, flawless, indefatigable Wordpress.com just gave me this response:

Server Maintenance

11/14/2006

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