Gabrielle smelling flowers in the park today
5/23/2004
4/17/2004
10 Things Nobody Ever Told Me
1. Addictions are not cool. The government always said “Don’t do Drugs” but never said “Don’t do Porn”, or “don’t be a glutton” “Don’t steal from investors” “Spend less money”, etc. Lust in particular is common but destroys, easily hid but overpowering, is empowered out of needy places in your life.
2. By the time you hit thirty you’ll start feeling all those aches and pains from abuse you put yourself through as a teen and early adult. Parts of your body you never think about, like your knees and feet start hurting before during and after exercise!
3. Music is as varied and expressive as print communication. Most of the music you hear is by accident and just has good publicity. The good music often does not. You gotta hunt for it like buried treasure. Once you get on the search your life changes forever. The same is true, say many, of movies, drama, dance, paintings, and so on. God gives us these things to bring us out of depressive slumps. Creativity is a godly thing. It soon is not enough to hear or see these things, you must soon make your own music, films, books, art, whatever.
4. Nobody is ever really prepared for marriage. Of course you can’t tell that to single people or engaged couples or they’ll freak out. But no matter what you do, no matter what books you read: marriage—like faith and religion— is a leap in the dark. You think you know what you have but you don’t. You thought you knew yourself but you didn’t.
5. Nobody is ever really prepared for kids. See above.
6. Anybody who acts like they knew from the start and did everything perfect is a bald face liar!!! Just nod your head and smile and say “hmmm” like you were going to anyway and then think to yourself [assuming this is a male]“I wish I had been a fly on the wall when you were thirty with three kids under the age of nine. Where were you then? Hiding in your den while your wife watched the kids?” Some folks with positive dispositions who view all of life as a great adventure somehow laugh at trouble as it comes. But I tend to avoid these people.
7. Religion is a human thing. Its not necessarily heaven sent or hell inspired. Its just a human function like breathing or going to the bathroom. Like with little kids its important to learn the right way to go to the bathroom. But no one really teaches you to breathe. Well some religionists do, but. . . .
Its like bike riding or learning an instrument. All humans are religious in one way or another. Its become common to be Creole about it, mixing this with that. But in the end God judges all of our religions. God’s Word teaches a pure religion, but does not say that practitioners will be free from the boundaries of its sinful human practice of it this side of heaven. The Holy Spirit in us Christians brings our religious practice to life and promises a better future but does not promise perfect practice in us, but only holy struggle. Jihad if you will, in us. We can’t outlaw or kill our religious urges anymore than the State can. But we can understand that they are frail and fall under judgment. Hopefully this will humble us cause us to stop judging each other and allow for God’s judgment.
8. Theology, like science and philosophy, is fun (though addictive) but useless fun if not applied. Most people ignore theology (and science) because they can’t draw lines to personal experience. It usually takes a disaster to give you an interest in systematic theology. Sometimes systematic theology causes the disaster, either way it becomes a necessity. Like a basic knowledge of the laws of physics will save from certain death, so theology will save you from various metaphysical excursions into complete stupidity (like an addiction to television’s “the Bachelor” or “Average Joe” or “Elimidate”). Well maybe it won’t save you but at least you’ll know there’s gotta be more intelligent life somewhere.
9. Politics is not a dirty word. And people who avoid politics and religion are just doing their best to keep from growing up. I’ve embraced religion and politics all my life, and people still like me. Well a few people. But anyway, politics is, on a grand scale, the same poop we have to scoop out of our front lawns everyday. It, like religion, is just part of human life. Live with it. Learn it. Or you’ll just step in it and make a mess everywhere you go. My interest started with the horrific events in Rwanda. If you don’t know about Rwanda in 1994 by now please pull your head out of that hole you call your life and look around. If all you know of the Middle East is that Jesus once lived there put your head back in the hole, you don’t deserve to know anymore. But seriously, a lot of governments like it that you stay ignorant of the evil they do, does that tick you off? Israel, for instance, has done a good job at making its problems seem unsolvable by anybody and thus has managed to keep the world off their back and the US sending money and weapons. Don’t care for my politics? Fine. Find your own.
10. People who are always organized must never actually do much. The rest of us are constantly busy trying to undo the mistakes we made because we weren’t organized.
11. Community sustains life. Anyone truly alone is already dead. (Though then we could say they’re in communion with others in the afterlife.) I have never had a truly meaningful relation with anyone that I don’t still carry with me as a part of who I am. At times in recalling the past I may be angry and resentful or I may revel in the bliss of the thought of us together. Most often I just carry a peace about that person around with me, like I needed them at the time and they made me more of who I am.
1. Addictions are not cool. The government always said “Don’t do Drugs” but never said “Don’t do Porn”, or “don’t be a glutton” “Don’t steal from investors” “Spend less money”, etc. Lust in particular is common but destroys, easily hid but overpowering, is empowered out of needy places in your life.
2. By the time you hit thirty you’ll start feeling all those aches and pains from abuse you put yourself through as a teen and early adult. Parts of your body you never think about, like your knees and feet start hurting before during and after exercise!
3. Music is as varied and expressive as print communication. Most of the music you hear is by accident and just has good publicity. The good music often does not. You gotta hunt for it like buried treasure. Once you get on the search your life changes forever. The same is true, say many, of movies, drama, dance, paintings, and so on. God gives us these things to bring us out of depressive slumps. Creativity is a godly thing. It soon is not enough to hear or see these things, you must soon make your own music, films, books, art, whatever.
4. Nobody is ever really prepared for marriage. Of course you can’t tell that to single people or engaged couples or they’ll freak out. But no matter what you do, no matter what books you read: marriage—like faith and religion— is a leap in the dark. You think you know what you have but you don’t. You thought you knew yourself but you didn’t.
5. Nobody is ever really prepared for kids. See above.
6. Anybody who acts like they knew from the start and did everything perfect is a bald face liar!!! Just nod your head and smile and say “hmmm” like you were going to anyway and then think to yourself [assuming this is a male]“I wish I had been a fly on the wall when you were thirty with three kids under the age of nine. Where were you then? Hiding in your den while your wife watched the kids?” Some folks with positive dispositions who view all of life as a great adventure somehow laugh at trouble as it comes. But I tend to avoid these people.
7. Religion is a human thing. Its not necessarily heaven sent or hell inspired. Its just a human function like breathing or going to the bathroom. Like with little kids its important to learn the right way to go to the bathroom. But no one really teaches you to breathe. Well some religionists do, but. . . .
Its like bike riding or learning an instrument. All humans are religious in one way or another. Its become common to be Creole about it, mixing this with that. But in the end God judges all of our religions. God’s Word teaches a pure religion, but does not say that practitioners will be free from the boundaries of its sinful human practice of it this side of heaven. The Holy Spirit in us Christians brings our religious practice to life and promises a better future but does not promise perfect practice in us, but only holy struggle. Jihad if you will, in us. We can’t outlaw or kill our religious urges anymore than the State can. But we can understand that they are frail and fall under judgment. Hopefully this will humble us cause us to stop judging each other and allow for God’s judgment.
8. Theology, like science and philosophy, is fun (though addictive) but useless fun if not applied. Most people ignore theology (and science) because they can’t draw lines to personal experience. It usually takes a disaster to give you an interest in systematic theology. Sometimes systematic theology causes the disaster, either way it becomes a necessity. Like a basic knowledge of the laws of physics will save from certain death, so theology will save you from various metaphysical excursions into complete stupidity (like an addiction to television’s “the Bachelor” or “Average Joe” or “Elimidate”). Well maybe it won’t save you but at least you’ll know there’s gotta be more intelligent life somewhere.
9. Politics is not a dirty word. And people who avoid politics and religion are just doing their best to keep from growing up. I’ve embraced religion and politics all my life, and people still like me. Well a few people. But anyway, politics is, on a grand scale, the same poop we have to scoop out of our front lawns everyday. It, like religion, is just part of human life. Live with it. Learn it. Or you’ll just step in it and make a mess everywhere you go. My interest started with the horrific events in Rwanda. If you don’t know about Rwanda in 1994 by now please pull your head out of that hole you call your life and look around. If all you know of the Middle East is that Jesus once lived there put your head back in the hole, you don’t deserve to know anymore. But seriously, a lot of governments like it that you stay ignorant of the evil they do, does that tick you off? Israel, for instance, has done a good job at making its problems seem unsolvable by anybody and thus has managed to keep the world off their back and the US sending money and weapons. Don’t care for my politics? Fine. Find your own.
10. People who are always organized must never actually do much. The rest of us are constantly busy trying to undo the mistakes we made because we weren’t organized.
11. Community sustains life. Anyone truly alone is already dead. (Though then we could say they’re in communion with others in the afterlife.) I have never had a truly meaningful relation with anyone that I don’t still carry with me as a part of who I am. At times in recalling the past I may be angry and resentful or I may revel in the bliss of the thought of us together. Most often I just carry a peace about that person around with me, like I needed them at the time and they made me more of who I am.
3/03/2004
On Revolution, Haiti, the US, and Karl Barth's commentary on Rom. 12:21-13:7
I was in Haiti in '93. Saw the conditions before Aristide. Believed Aristide to be the good guy. Priest, liberation theologian. Sojourners mag's man in '94. Now Sojourners is all but silent. Were they pulling a Pat Robertson Charles Taylor thing and now their quiet? Or will they have answers in the next issue? To me Haiti serves as an illustration of why a Christian political revolution is never a real possibility. Enter KB on Rom. 12:21-13:7. Rom. 13:4 says in essence that government rulers are God’s agents working for your good, so keep your nose clean and you’ve got nothing to fear. Its historically been used to walk all over the poor and racial minorities in the name of God. Christian revolutionaries and anarchists go to great lengths to read around these passages, discredit them, or just say Paul is not speaking to the current situation. So what’s it gonna be? Ignore Paul as it regards the current political situation with Bush in office and refuse to believe he is God’s agent as the passage suggests, or come to terms with Karl Barth who really builds on Paul’s got to say? And what of Aristide for that matter? Here’s a guy we all thought could change Haiti? Clinton helped put him in power and now Bush helps him out of it! Haiti has seen more revolution to my knowledge than any other country in the Western Hemisphere. Has any other country had more US intervention? And what is our Haitian policy year round? What is our longterm strategy for helping Haiti out? What’s our history been with Haiti economically? Do we really give a damn?
I was in Haiti in '93. Saw the conditions before Aristide. Believed Aristide to be the good guy. Priest, liberation theologian. Sojourners mag's man in '94. Now Sojourners is all but silent. Were they pulling a Pat Robertson Charles Taylor thing and now their quiet? Or will they have answers in the next issue? To me Haiti serves as an illustration of why a Christian political revolution is never a real possibility. Enter KB on Rom. 12:21-13:7. Rom. 13:4 says in essence that government rulers are God’s agents working for your good, so keep your nose clean and you’ve got nothing to fear. Its historically been used to walk all over the poor and racial minorities in the name of God. Christian revolutionaries and anarchists go to great lengths to read around these passages, discredit them, or just say Paul is not speaking to the current situation. So what’s it gonna be? Ignore Paul as it regards the current political situation with Bush in office and refuse to believe he is God’s agent as the passage suggests, or come to terms with Karl Barth who really builds on Paul’s got to say? And what of Aristide for that matter? Here’s a guy we all thought could change Haiti? Clinton helped put him in power and now Bush helps him out of it! Haiti has seen more revolution to my knowledge than any other country in the Western Hemisphere. Has any other country had more US intervention? And what is our Haitian policy year round? What is our longterm strategy for helping Haiti out? What’s our history been with Haiti economically? Do we really give a damn?
12/23/2003
I can't believe its already the end of 2003. My wife just called "lets eat" so I gotta make this fast. I'm down here visiting family in MO and having a good time. First time out of the city in four months or so. Wee one wants to pound on the keyboard: ,kds lo kj dxcjmse xkl,as znhs ik,sazjm. There. Got it out of your system kid? No? k iik edrf oied perikr olr j. OK.
She's so cute. Missevbg fgbfddf missed her nap today. Moody.
Watched "the ballad of Ramblin Jack" last night on the Sundance channel. Cool movie. Great footage of a lot of great folk artists, testimony, etc. But seeing it once is enough. What a mess his life was/is. Did it have to be that way for him to be loveable "ramblin jack"? I'm skeptical. Why should we be grateful that some guy wrecks his life just for fun and to be "an original". Couldn't we have loved him as a family man?
She's so cute. Missevbg fgbfddf missed her nap today. Moody.
Watched "the ballad of Ramblin Jack" last night on the Sundance channel. Cool movie. Great footage of a lot of great folk artists, testimony, etc. But seeing it once is enough. What a mess his life was/is. Did it have to be that way for him to be loveable "ramblin jack"? I'm skeptical. Why should we be grateful that some guy wrecks his life just for fun and to be "an original". Couldn't we have loved him as a family man?
10/22/2003
Home again with the kids today. Wife is at public aid trying to get us back on after a routine boot just for their jollies. She had the woman there lay down the phone on her for 50 min. yesterday. She sat there on the phone, not on hold but with the reciever down. How can people be so rude?
Anyway I'm sick of complaining about my job. Ever have a job you love but that you don't want to do alone? That's mine. I feel so isolated. Anyway I'm tired of describing my feelings about it. Umpteen times now. But when jon gets back tomorrow or today or whenever he feels like it the vein's gonna have to open again--big time! I've been asking folks to pray. God's the only one that in the end has any direct bearing on what happens 'sides me. I'm just so tired of being alone.
I could go on and on about how I've felt alone and rejected all my life but the violins would start and the skies would open and a voice would say "Enough already!"
Anyway I'm sick of complaining about my job. Ever have a job you love but that you don't want to do alone? That's mine. I feel so isolated. Anyway I'm tired of describing my feelings about it. Umpteen times now. But when jon gets back tomorrow or today or whenever he feels like it the vein's gonna have to open again--big time! I've been asking folks to pray. God's the only one that in the end has any direct bearing on what happens 'sides me. I'm just so tired of being alone.
I could go on and on about how I've felt alone and rejected all my life but the violins would start and the skies would open and a voice would say "Enough already!"
10/16/2003
Hey there I'm home today with my little girls. My wife's doing laundry so I'm here watching them. So much has changed in my life since I last wrote. I'm usually down in the dumps these days. Changes at work. I'm alone now in my job so its really depressing. I try not to think about it but its hard not to. So my personal issues are getting worse. And my friend who I normally talk to is on vacation. And I'm not being honest about things anymore either. That's not cool. But life continues on. God I hope it changes soon. Maybe I gotta change jobs. Work in a new area. I like this one a lot but not doing it alone. God please help me. Its really hard to rejoicein the Lord when I'm so messed up.
8/19/2003
I'm thankful that my life is not just about what I do. I work in publishing and I enjoy it. I think about it too much. But I'm grateful for my wife and kids. They add a dimension to my life that I can't control. Little round circles of paper lay around my room next to kid scissors for no practical reason. A little shoe here and there. They made bug masks yesterday and Ellie had hers on this morning. In her mind the lips had lipstick and she offered some to mom. Mom said no thanks its not my color and Ellie went on to name five other colors, gray, white, blue, etc.
Yeh, that's cool. What would my life be like without them? I remember being a very lonely single person. Not for very long but longer than I wanted to be.
Yeh, that's cool. What would my life be like without them? I remember being a very lonely single person. Not for very long but longer than I wanted to be.
4/09/2003
So the news is good today. There's celebration in Baghdad as troops take the center of town.
The crowds are heralding us as liberators. Well that's cool. I am concerned about what we as the US
do after this war. The "Nation-building" that Bush was so against in the pre-elections. Mostly I'm concerned that we can't learn from past mistakes because as the world's single super power we believe we can't admit to committing atrocities. We can't play by the rules of the International Community unless we can set them vague enough to be able to easily overlook them.
The crowds are heralding us as liberators. Well that's cool. I am concerned about what we as the US
do after this war. The "Nation-building" that Bush was so against in the pre-elections. Mostly I'm concerned that we can't learn from past mistakes because as the world's single super power we believe we can't admit to committing atrocities. We can't play by the rules of the International Community unless we can set them vague enough to be able to easily overlook them.
4/08/2003
Okay. While I'm in the mood I'm gonna rant about something I really care about. I'm sick of people like Tim Lahaye, Jerry Falwell, Hal Lindsey, and Pat Robertson "sharing" the gospel. Nobody I know is going to agree with me on this but I say these people can't be preaching Jesus as Savior on the one hand and expulsion of the Palestinians from the "promised" land of Israel on the other. Jesus is the same name as "Joshua" in the Bible. The Lord Saves. Who does the Lord save? Does he desire the death of one people for the livelihood of another?The book of Joshua just such a historic account. Yeah, now there were reasons. But everyone is still being killed in scores that rival the apocalypse in Revelation.
Speaking of killing, the second Intifadah has claimed and is claiming thousands of lives in the Middle East. The afore mentioned men are all but delighted by it. They're looking forward to Jesus' return and a fulfillment of their little dispensational time lines. Their book sales are up. Hallelujah. Meanwhile my Christian friend in the West Bank is treated like a prisoner in his own home.
Trump your love for Jesus to the world Jerry Falwell! I don't believe you. I don't believe Jesus believes you. Or at least he sees you as seriously deluded. You're doing more harm than good.
Your religion is all about being blind to the here and now in expectation of your mapped out future. So in your plan my Palestinian friends are just furniture being moved. Their lives are meaningless. Regardless of whether they are Christians.
And God help the Jews who are promised the land. I pity them for accepting these men's friendship. They aren't true friends. They don't even really care about their souls. It's all about the timeline.
I wish these guys. . . . Falwell, Lindsey, Robertson, Lahaye would prove me wrong.
Speaking of killing, the second Intifadah has claimed and is claiming thousands of lives in the Middle East. The afore mentioned men are all but delighted by it. They're looking forward to Jesus' return and a fulfillment of their little dispensational time lines. Their book sales are up. Hallelujah. Meanwhile my Christian friend in the West Bank is treated like a prisoner in his own home.
Trump your love for Jesus to the world Jerry Falwell! I don't believe you. I don't believe Jesus believes you. Or at least he sees you as seriously deluded. You're doing more harm than good.
Your religion is all about being blind to the here and now in expectation of your mapped out future. So in your plan my Palestinian friends are just furniture being moved. Their lives are meaningless. Regardless of whether they are Christians.
And God help the Jews who are promised the land. I pity them for accepting these men's friendship. They aren't true friends. They don't even really care about their souls. It's all about the timeline.
I wish these guys. . . . Falwell, Lindsey, Robertson, Lahaye would prove me wrong.
I grew up in a Christian community. I guess that makes me interesting. I've known others that grew up like I did. Most got out as soon as they could. Probably, in their case, with good reason. I married, moved out of one, and moved into another and my wife and I now have three small kids. I think its worth it living this way. Prospects for retirement or making serious money? Nill. Prospects for becoming powerful and famous. Notta. Prospects for family, happiness, and simple living--pretty good. In some small way I believe that by living with less (though not as little as many) I'm standing for something. Maybe I'm cutting down on my share of waste. More importantly I'm raising my kids with values from another time/place. Maybe not. Maybe the world isn't as dark as all that. So why do I get the feeling that my country is currently exporting a democracy that I can't believe in? And powerful preachers who claim to believe all the right things are bellowing a "gospel" that has nothing to do with human beings?
Hey. Yeh I'm blogging now for the first time I guess. So my words are going to be up on the net again as little
ten inch characters that maybe five people will ever see. Still it feels good to write.
How do I view the world? With hope, but with pesimism. The Iraq war? Resignation. Israel and Palestine?
More anger than resignation. I've never been anything but American. Never been anything but an Evangelical
Christian. But lately I'm miserably ashamed of being both. Cuz frankly I hate where my country and my religion
are heading. At least I hate where those in power are taking it.
ten inch characters that maybe five people will ever see. Still it feels good to write.
How do I view the world? With hope, but with pesimism. The Iraq war? Resignation. Israel and Palestine?
More anger than resignation. I've never been anything but American. Never been anything but an Evangelical
Christian. But lately I'm miserably ashamed of being both. Cuz frankly I hate where my country and my religion
are heading. At least I hate where those in power are taking it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
